Warnning: If you are a man or a squeamish woman, this might be too much for you. I’m currently working in gynaecology – I don’t hold back.
Are you sitting comfortably? Today we’re going to talk about MEN-STRRUU-AA-SHUUN.
Every time I get my period I want to throat punch Eve. I was never one to buy into the whole PMT, ‘I’m moody because it’s my time of month’ doo dah… until it started happening to me. There I am, merrily skipping my way through the month, when suddenly a cloud of depression and irritability descends, associated with sugar cravings and petty arguments with loved ones over things of little consequence…cue that the dreaded bleed has begun.
I don’t think anyone ENJOYS periods. I mean, there are those outside the normal distribution curve who have some sort of monthly celebration of their womb as the giver of life, but for most of us, it just sucks.
Mooncups make it considerably less sucky.
What is a mooncup you ask?
Quite simply, it is a little silicone cup that you pop in down there. Once in, you can’t feel it, it collects your period, you empty it, you clean it, you pop it back in, and so forth. It’s a lot safer than tampons and pads because it has none of the nasty chemicals, bleaches and moisture sucking fabric. (I always found something quite gross about a fabric thing soaking up menstrual fluids. Weirdly, mooncups, although a lot more involved, seem a lot less gross.)
I’m not going to go into detail about my own menstrual cycle or mooncup experience because there are enough youtube videos with very brave women who detail that for you. I will say though, that the cheapskate in me appreciates the fact that mooncups only have to be changed every 5 years and so save a nice wedge of cash. I also appreciate not having to worry about swimming, changing rooms and weird menstrual smells.
Suffice to say, if you are the kind of person who can’t even say vagina without shuddering, the mooncup is not for you. Likewise if you are the kind of woman who can barely look at a tampon without feeling nauseous, the mooncup is not for you.
1) Hide your mooncup and it’s nice little storage bag somewhere where curious male hands won’t open it and hold it up gingerly whilst gawping “WHAT IS THIS?”. It’s awkward.
2) Don’t worry if the first time you try it, you can’t get it out after a while. Relax. Breathe. There is nowhere for it to go.
3) Consequently, don’t have a trial run on a busy morning or a panicked evening. It might end up a bit of a bloody mess.
4) Clean it after use, for Pete’s sake. You can get sterilising tablets from any supermarket.
5) Wear thin pads when you first start using it in case of any..ahem..leaks.
6) I’m making it sound worse than it is, it is actually rather awesome.
7)If the idea of reusable things gross you out Softcups are disposable and actually more comfy, but more expensive.
Who else has tried mooncups? Questions?