I’ve always been somewhat baffled at the attraction some women apparently have to ‘bad boys’. There’s this rumour that’s been spreading for the past few hundred years, that women are attracted to men who might possibly have criminal record, have a low verging on shocking command of the English language, and who generally treat them like some kind of dog’s excrement. Erm, Is this really true? Do all women secretly want to date the super sleazy yuppy player, or the thug drug dealer they see hanging around on some back road?
I wanted to gain a consensus, so I asked 3 different women to give me their different opinions. I didn’t have time to ask the general public, well actually, I make up my blogs as I go along, so the idea of a survey didn’t occur to me until about 3.7 seconds ago. These 3 women are 3 different alter egos I’ve created, that I’ve named individually for the purposes of this post.
1) Felicity (Inner snob).
“Of course I don’t like bad boys. What could possibly be attractive about the fact that you are on first name basis with the majority of the local police force? I didn’t work through years of school and another 5 years of university, only to have to constantly refer to Urbandictionary.com in order to have some semblance of a meaningful conversation with you. Also, I’m not a sadomasochist, so the idea of you constantly treating me like the gum that you picked up on your shoe from your street corner activities, is not appealing. And don’t get me started on the corporate womanisers…I don’t care that you’re good looking, funnier than Eddie Murphy, have a great degree and that every woman within a 3 mile radius wants you – that doesn’t give you an excuse to play me like Xbox. Nope, not attractive – I just want a geeky guy called Eric who will bring me flowers and rub my feet, not Tupac with a degree. I don’t have a Messiah complex, and I don’t want to save you from your folly.”
2) Mary (Inner rebel)
“I don’t want some man crying with me every time we watch Aladdin! That packet of Kleenex is for me, and me only. What are you gonna do when we’re walking back from the train station and someone tries to steal my Iphone? Tell them that you have a degree in quantum physics? I want people to know your face, and know that they can’t mess with you. I want local gangsters to run to their Mum’s house every time you show up. I want KFC to give us free fries because they’re scared of what you’ll do if they don’t. I want to be that one woman who managed to tame you when every other women failed. Nice guys finish last, because nice guys are boring and pathetic”.
3) Shade (The real me)
“Most normal women don’t really like bad boys. I don’t want to be mortified when you meet my friends and they recognise you from Crime Watch. I don’t want to have to have cringy awkward conversations every time we bump into some woman that you slept with or mangled their fragile heart. Most women just want someone to be able to stick up for them when the time is right – if someone tries to mug us, have the good sense to distract them while we both make a run for it. I don’t want a wimp, neither do I want you to audition for the Mafia. The nice guys who claim to finish last are usually creepy, emotionally unstable, and have an unhealthy and overactive relationship with their mother. Men kid themselves into thinking they’re a just nice guy when they’re really extremely socially awkward and a bit weird. Real nice guys get real nice girls in the end.”
Honesty, I think the media has fed into this idea, especially with the Hip Hop and Rock music culture. Marilyn Manson is clearly a slightly troubled man, with a penchant for Satanism (or maybe just has a clever marketing team), but somehow a substantial amount of teenage girls when I was 14 found him attractive. Lil Wayne clearly would be unable to get a job at any reputable institution with his current persona, but apparently teenage girls find him attractive as well. On a serious note, I think this is actually quite troubling and dangerous, because while these superstars are only talking about breaking the law, sleeping with multiple women, and taking illegal drugs etc, the young women who absorb this and take it more seriously than they should, begin to actively seek out men who actually do these things in real life. And then they realise that what looks cool in a rap video, in real life, leaves you with an STD and about £2.50 worth of child support, or a very expensive cocaine habit.
I think the women who actually do seek out bad boys are generally quite self destructive. It’s almost a form of self sabotage – I don’t deserve someone who will treat me well, or a challenge where they have some sort of Messiah complex.
What do you guys think? Do most women really like bad boys? Or is it a small minority giving the rest of us a bad rep?