Ladies, would you go halves on an engagement ring?

One of my friends posted a link on Facebook yesterday to an article discussing whether women should go halves on engagement ring. My eyebrows instantly shot up. The top left corner of my lip instantly began to sneer. What a ludicrous idea.  Here are some choice morsels from the article for you to chew on.

‘I think it makes for a better connection between the two people,’ she said, ‘because both the man and woman earn money and contribute to the financials.’ (Samantha Daniels).  Pure folly.

‘We live in a generation where women work and are often breadwinners of the family. So why should the man have to pay for a ring solely?’ Unadulterated tomfoolery. (Say that with me in your best Queen Elizabeth accent, doesn’t it feel good?) 

I’ll tell you why. Everyone is missing a very basic and fundamental point. The reason the man pays for the engagement ring is because he is the one asking the woman to marry him. Duh. Duuuhhh. It’s all about the chase. Like, how are you gonna call me, charm me, persuade me to finally go out on a date with you, and then be like, “So we’re going halves, yeh?” Nah, you’re washing dishes at the restaurant mate. Looks like it’s going to be a looonng evening for you. It’s not sexism, it’s simplicity. Whoever asks, pays. I’m the type of woman who never asks, so I never pay (for first dates at the very least).  If I asked a man to marry me (not that that would ever happen, unless I was 40 and my womb began to blow out dust and ash), then I wouldn’t ask him to go splitsies on the ring! What kind of cheeky cheapskate movement is that? 

Let’s use an analogy. My womb is like a room. Men  clearly, cannot procreate without my womb, just like people cannot live without a house or room. Effectively the my future husband will be renting my womb (room) from me on a long term basis. Every sensible landlord (every sensible woman), requires a deposit on the room (womb). The deposit in this case, is 1 maybe 2 years of dating, culminating in an engagement. The contract is the marriage/wedding. Once bound to the contract, the landlord is bound to allow the tenant to use the room (womb) under whatever terms and conditions are stipulated in the contract until the contract ends, or the tenant breaks his side of the contract (till death do us part, unless you cheat one me – well that’s the Christian terms and conditions anyway). If the contract is broken by the landlord, then presumably the tenant gets their deposit back (the ring).

Ok, so I’m kidding. Well, not really….any potential long term tenants out there? My deposit may be expensive but I can assure you the room is well worth the price. Please email me to discuss the finer details of the contract.

On a serious note, I don’t want an engagement ring. I think they’re a waste of money personally, and I would MUCH rather he bought me £1000 worth of Marks and Spencer’s vouchers so that I could eat posh food for a whole year, or bought me a new wardrobe, or less selfishly spent the money on building our lives together. The mere fact that people are considering going halves shows that whole charade is silly. If a man can’t afford an expensive ring, he should by a cheaper one. Sorted. And the woman he’s with should be proud that she’s with someone who’s financially sensible.

Side note: I was really not up for going into hospital to examine patients and stuff today because I’ve been off with the flu/cold, and I’m generally bored with medicine. But I had a lovely patient who made me cry and it reminded me why I’m doing this. It’s so much better to look  for the good in each day – cynicism is only good for blog posts 🙂

Peace guys xx

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