I find ‘age gap’ relationships weird.

I was talking to someone a week or so back about the dating game. The person in question said they were open to dating someone who was quite significantly older then them. To me that means like, 5 years. To them that meant….. 15.

Whooooaa, homie, whooaa.

Personally, do I like older dudes. I’m convinced that at 24, a lot of men have the emotional capacity of a stick insect, and between the ages of 24 and roughly 28 something drastic happens. Almost like the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly. Age 24 and below, men are slimy, slithering creatures that crawl into your life, selfishly munching away and destroying everything in their path. You’re left like a chewed upon leaf – full of holes and near death. Age 28, they become these beautiful works of art, spreading their wings to shower your world with beauty. You gaze in wonder as they flutter around glistening in the sunlight, and you wonder how such an ugly creature could transform itself into a thing of wonderment .

I’m joking, I’m joking…. Well, kind of. Any woman over 30 reading this is shaking her head like “you will learn young grasshopper, you will learn…”

I get the appeal of the older man. And I get the appeal of an older woman – I’m sure there’s at least one 18 year old who could be smitten in my presence. I’m joking. Again.

I just don’t get relationships where one partner was a teenager while the other having his or her bottom wiped. It’s just odd to me.I find it really odd and disconcerting.

I’m again putting this down to my own immaturity. I can’t see any 35- 40 year old man comfortably dating me. I’m very still much at the age where roller disco is a feasible form of entertainment. (Well, not for me personally, but for many 24 year olds). Age 24, you can probably get away with doing or saying a lot of things that 22 year olds do and say without too much side eye from people. As a 40 year old, how would you possibly not feel embarrassed by me at various points throughout the relationship? Isn’t that first introduction to friends kinda awkward? And wouldn’t you be asking yourself why I was dating you, a possibly slightly balding man at the beginning of middle aged back problems, rather than a fresh young chicken like myself?

I’d also constantly be questioning his maturity. Like, why, with a 15 year age gap, are we still so compatible? Has his growth been stunted? Is he suffering from emotional dwarfism? Or am I just a fling in the middle of a mid life crisis? Is that why he’s bought a motorbike as well? If he’s already had kids, will he want more? If he hasn’t, will he want them really soon? Sweet Brown is right, ain’t nobody got time for that. Is he taking this seriously enough? Is he taking this too seriously? Will his friends be boring? I don’t want to make adult conversation.

I think the younger person has to be careful that they don’t look up to the other person too much. And I think that older person has to be conscious that there isn’t a weird parental dynamic. The thought of dating someone who could be one of my Dad’s friends freaks me out. A lot.

Yeh, so clearly I don’t have the capabilities to function in a sensible relationship with anyone older at the moment.

Maybe that’s the ticket though. To be in a a relationship with a big age gap you have to either be incredibly mature, incredibly immature (if you’re the older one), or have some sort of divine command that you’re heeding. Maybe when you find an incredible connection with someone, or when the person has all the qualities you know will make a good partner, the age becomes completely irrelevant.

What do you guys think? Anyone ever been there?

1 Comment

  1. November 20, 2014 / 6:38 pm

    age is just a number, connection is the thing for me. Someone younger or older but connected to me – spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally is the tricky part. whether that comes in a 40+ body or 18+ I’m down.

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