How to hate your job and still stay sane.work

hate work

Unfortunately, few of us have the luxury of being able to sashay on stage at an awards show with tears running in dainty streams down our waterproof make-upped faces, clutch our chests and say…. “I’m grateful every day to wake up and do what I love..”, as Helen Mirren looks on in grandmotherly like appreciation.

No.

For many of us, our day starts with an inward groan, a wipe of a smellyish armpit, and a stumble towards the door with a slightly damp cornflake hanging off our chin.

We arrive at work bleary eyed and blurry brained, only to be greeted by a strangely overenthusiastic colleague with a penchant for garlic. The day has begun.

How can you stay sane?

1) Do not tell your boss that you hate your job.

Especially you Tyrone. That is black professional career suicide. One minute you thought you were developing a loving, meaningful relationship with your supervisor, the next minute you’re in the office in the middle of a conversation that includes “we really want you to be happy Tyrone, have you considered looking elsewhere?”.

2) Do not tell your colleagues that you hate your job.

Unless you work in Primark. No one in Primark likes their job.

3) Develop an in job hobby.

This is something that you do every day to make your job more enjoyable. It might be seeing how many yellow M and M’s you can fit into your mouth during your 10 minute break. It might be seeing how many sticky labels you can fit onto your little finger. It might be something more highbrow, like trying to beat your typing speed. Whatever it is, make sure you do it every day. Consistency is the key.

4) Find a work buddy.

There will be at least one person at your place of work who you really get on with. Stick to them like glue, but not too sticky, because I’ve found people don’t like people that are too sticky.

5)Do a good deed once in a while.

My Mum likes to encourage me to pick a person that I want to do a good deed for every day. Sometimes I’m grumpy and I ignore her, but when I do listen, I find it makes my day much better. If you’re more saintly than me, you will probably do this without part of your motive being to make yourself feel better. I’m not there yet.

6) Don’t become the insane person at work.

We all know that person that has been in the job far too long, hated it for far too long and consequently, has lost it. Whatever ‘it’ is, we all wish we could be the ones to find it and return it to them. If you find yourself being grumpy to your colleagues, over possessive with the stapler, and a general nuisance, you haven’t done no. 3) and no.4). Work hobby, work buddy. Sort it out.

7) Wear something slightly outlandish once in a while.

Neon tights usually do the trick. Gentlemen, perhaps ‘top hat Friday’?

8) Have a life outside of work.

Don’t let the man kill your joy. You must have a passion for something…find your purpose and be determined to live it, no matter what Matt in HR does to you.

9) Try and do your best.

If you hate your job, you might as well be half way decent at it. If you hate your job AND you’re rubbish at it, you might think your apathy won’t make any difference, but it will actually make you feel even worse.

10) Write an epic letter of resignation.

If all else fails, then perhaps this just wasn’t meant for you? There are better jobs and smaller pay checks in store for you. Write an epic letter of resignation, maybe based loosely on an Oscar speech, and hand it in to your boss. Then leave, neon tights and top hat in tow, for the fulfilling life you were created to live.

Happy Wednesday!

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