Bikini wax? Nope, nope, never ever.

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*Disclaimer. Men might find this awkward/ inappropriate to read. Progress at your own risk, and don’t say i didn’t warn you.

So this whole hair removal thing…..I was having a conversation with some of my female friends last night, and for some strange reason, we started talking about hair removal. It started off more generally, and then progressed to a discussion about THAT hair. Y’know, THAT hair. Don’t worry, you can keep reading, I keep this blog PG. One of my friends is a regular brazilian waxer (removing ALL the hair down ‘there’), and she mentioned that she was thinking of buying an epilator instead, as it’s cheaper. My response:

Sorry huh? In the words of Missy Elliot, hooollld up, wait a minute. Nuh-uh. Mm-mm. There are 3 people in this world who are getting close enough to that area – me, my husband, and the midwife who delivers my babies. And you sure as Hades aren’t going near there with some hot wax, I can tell you that for free.

She insisted that the idea of hair down there made her slightly squeamish, and she just had to get rid of it. Which is fair enough – I believe in keeping things tidy and getting your house in order, and I know her well enough to know that in her case, she’s definitely doing it for her own personal reasons and not due to societal pressure or some weird standard of pubic beauty.

Having said that, I think generally there is a weird pressure on women to be strangely hairless. I say strangely, because only in the last half of the last century was it so universally (in the western world) decided that hairy legs were borderline satanic. This hairless leg phenomenon was definitely cooked up by some multinational corporation to make women buy yet another product to modify themselves to attain a standard of beauty. And I say sucks to it. Sorry love, I’m not your Venus, fire, or desire. I understand and support removing armpit hair because arguably, that’s a hygiene issue, but leg hair?? Really? Like, what is the big deal?

I can tell you the exact time and place my legs last saw a razor. Marriot hotel, Atlanta, July 2010. Yup, keep looking at me sideways, I don’t care. The last time before that was somewhere in Catford in 2002. I don’t play these razor games, they’re arduous and unnecessary. To be fair, I have very fine hair and dark skin and the hair isn’t noticeable, so you could say that the reason I’m rebelling against this standard of hairlessness is because I sort of naturally conform to it anyway. But I’d like to think that even if I was yeti-like, that I would still tell Gillette to save their 3 blade for someone who cares.

Hair on your legs isn’t disgusting or unhygienic. If you’re sweating from your legs the same way you’re sweating from your pits, you need to go and see a doctor. Like, for real. I know a lot of women and men especially, who are literally grossed out by the idea of hairy legs. Which is part of the dilemma.YOU might be fine with your hairy legs, but what if members of the opposite sex find it disgusting? So much of marketing women’s beauty products is geared towards making females feel that they will be attractive to the opposite sex, that you have to be almost brave to step out onto a beach in Magaluf with your normal legs intact. To any potential man who would request that I remove my leg hair, I calmly suggest that you lead by example.

Which is why I say, women of the world, join me in this hairy legged feat. It will keep you warm in winter and the cool summer breeze will whistle through your leg hairs. It will ward off superficial men, and save you three quid a month. It’s a win, win, win situation. You can spend the £3 on threading your eyebrows instead. Which I am fully down for. Why? Don’t question me, I’m a woman.

What do you guys think? Is it gross or a turn off for women to not shave their legs? Would you get a bikini wax? What if your partner told you they were grossed out by your hair?

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2 Comments

  1. Juan Sheet
    February 25, 2014 / 2:07 am

    I agree with this post for the most part, I’m a male and find the obsession with woman returning their bodies to it’s hairless prepubescent stage very odd. I do, however, feel it is completely invalidated by your complete and utter hypocrisy. There is nothing remotely unhygienic about having hairy armpits and that isn’t arguable; It is done for aesthetic reasons only.

    • February 27, 2014 / 10:29 pm

      I say hygiene in the sense that hair=more body odour, and I’m pretty sure most girls would agree with me on that fact. I guess smelling isn’t really unhygienic per se, but I consider sweat lingering to hair to be a bit unhygienic. I don’t shave my armpits for aesthetic reasons cos I don’t care how it looks, I just smell more when I don’t!

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