All these public/flash mob/crowd proposals are super cringe and unnecessary.

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I think the wedding industry is full of thievery and deceit. Weddings cost an inordinate amount of money and take up an excessive amount of time. I’m hoping that if I ever do get married, I’ll be able to find a budget dress from T K Maxx and then spend about the same amount per head on the reception meal as they do for school dinners. Not because I don’t love all my friends and family dearly, but because the NHS doesn’t give me a separate fund for marital shenanigans, and David Cameron has decided that he wants me to start paying back the pittance of a student loan I was given. (I say pittance, but it’s roughly forty grand. Spread over the course of 6 years punctuated with a few self indulgent shopping sprees, it felt like pittance).

Before I get to that point though, there’s the small issue of a proposal. Oh, and a man to do the proposal. But let’s focus on the proposal bit.

I blame Youtube for this trend of over the top, overwrought proposals. Gone are the days when a young man could nervously hire a table at the back of a posh restaurant and pull an H.S Samuel ring out a shiny suit pocket. Nope, not good enough. Now, everyone’s doing treasure hunts (ok, that’s actually kinda cute), proposal Jenga, proposal pub quizzes, and pulling Cliff Richard out of a party hat to serenade their beloved. It’s such an unnecessary performance, and the worst thing about it is that people are starting more and more to do this stuff in public. And then videoing it.

My. Worst. Nightmare.

In fact the only thing worse than proposing to me in public would be the additional terror of a flash mob. With the cherry on the emotional cupcake being the whole sordid affair captured on video. I think that would be the point where I would wait for Ashton Kutcher to pop out from the flash mob to tell me that I was being Punk’d.

See, it sounds very ungrateful. It’s not that I wouldn’t be happy at being proposed to. It would be the fact that after however long we’d been together, he’d so totally misread my personality that he thought that I’d actually like all this unexpected attention at such a deeply (for me) personal and (for me) private moment.

I just don’t get why anyone would want a large crowd of people who are totally unconnected to them to be privy to their proposal? Why a group of badly dressed singers doing numbers from Sound of Music and tap dancing doesn’t strike them as slightly farcical? Why a video screen in the middle of the city centre doesn’t hint at being a bit #teamtoomuch? I don’t doubt their love for their partners, but really?

Maybe I’m reading too deep into it, but I actually think it’s partly because this generation is more openly narcissistic than previous ones (I say openly, because the only difference is that we can publicise our narcissism more freely), and possibly because marriage isn’t seen as as solemn an occasion anymore. As in, maybe the idea of it being a life long, utterly binding, for better or worse, probably second most important decision of your entire life, is less of a thing…so, less fear – and more flash mobs?

Or maybe people just really like flash mobs and photography at the moment. *shrugs*.

Anyone had a public proposal and care to share?

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2 Comments

  1. Tobs
    December 8, 2014 / 11:17 pm

    A message to future hubby, if yo’re out there:

    PLEASE.FOR THE LOVE OF ALL MANKIND AND ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE.
    DON’T YOU DARE PULL A STUNT LIKE THIS.

    Lol. I’d probably just walk away out of utter embarrassment. I can barely watch them on youtube without cringing and dying inside.

    • December 22, 2014 / 9:41 pm

      LOL! My sentiments exactly. I much prefer the simpler things in life. None of that orchestra stuff. Or that rose petals leading to the bedroom thing either. Knowing me, I’d probably shout for him to throw the ring down once I witness all that tomfoolery.

      I sound so mean, but clichés really bore me.

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